I enjoy writing blogs. I’ve kept a number of them over the years, and I’m sure that if you googled any of the online aliases I’ve held over time that you will find the list I’ve left scattered behind me, like some sort of depraved one-sided litany. The bastard children of illness and insight, of affliction and awareness. My attempts at breathing a semblance of meaning into my pain and trying to help it gain a strength for a few sessions of psychological self-flagellation later on.
So, I decided to start another blog and she was supposed to be a commentary on things that were happening in society around me… but she told me to fuck off. So then I tried to make her into a blog about our attempts to find a sperm donor and conceive a child this year, but then she said “You know?.. No.”
But now I’m trying to build her into something new. I’m trying to feed this one on truth and not self-pity and drama.
Perhaps I’ll conceive something this year after all.
"So this little song is probably...she's one of my best friends of all the songs. And um, she just didn't want to be on any of the records. She was supposed to be on Pele, and then she told me to fuck off. And then she was supposed to be on Choirgirl, sorta kinda, but then she said, 'you know...no.' And then she decided she liked being played live, so I play her a lot." ~Tori Amos Cooling
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