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If Amanda Palmer knocked on your door, what be the first sentence you would say to her?

I would like to think that I would say something like "I want my chest pressed to your chest
My nervous systems interfere" (from her song 'Another Year') or "I want to touch the back of your right arm" (from her song Astronaut)... but I would probably say something like "OMG! What are you doing here!?"

Ask me anything

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If you had access to a time machine, where and when would be the first place you travel to?

Into The Doctor's bedroom. Hehe.

Ask me anything

Seeing Paranormal Activity Was A Mistake...

...not because I didn't enjoy it thoroughly, I like being scared and it had some scary moments; but because I like being scared in movie theatres and not in my own house.

I'm not talking about the sort of thing that happened after I went to see a midnight showing of The Ring on my own (which I will expand upon in another entry). I'm talking about the fact that for the third time in two nights I have woken up to go to the bathroom and discover that the back window of my house was open. After closing it.

Sure, perhaps the first time (Monday night) we forgot to close it. I mentioned it to T, she swore that it was closed, and I figured that she might have just forgot.

Tonight I woke T up and took her out with me after I found it open again to show her that I wasn't messing around. I've just gone to pee for the second time since going to bed (more boredom and insomnia than a weak bladder) to find the window open... again.

Now I know that we closed it the first time tonight. And I KNOW that we closed it after finding it open earlier tonight because we stood there and discussed the fact that it was open.

So how the FUCK was the window open when I just went to pee for the second time?!

I don't believe in ghosts (not the dead human kind, I believe in the build up of psychic energy in a space), but I do believe in spirits and demons (as well as angels)... after all, I am a Pagan. And I know that this is an OLD house - with the peeling paint chips to prove it, built on old land - Bathurst has it's fair share of history, but I've never 'felt' anything here. The only thing that scares me about the house is the spiders and bugs.

But I could really really do without the freaky window opening business.

Then a Cackle of Horror Split Her Lips As She Slowly Peeled the Skin From Her Face...

I'm slowly working my way through the entire Avon skin care range.

My favourites so far -

• Solutions AM/PM Maximum Moisture - this comes in a pot with a divider between the AM side and the PM side. The AM moisturiser is lovely and light, and contains sunscreen (always a plus!). It is a little heavily scented for my tastes (I have a very delicate sense of smell), but it only bothers me for about 30 minutes and then I just get used to the scent. The PM moisturiser is a little more heavy, the sort of heaviness that you might find in a face cream and decide that it isn't for you because you don't like the feeling. But persevere. When you consider that you are putting it on just before bed, and when you feel the results in the morning, you will be thankful you tried it. I wouldn't recommend this for anyone with sensitive skin, though - the scent really is a little too much.
• Anew Rejuvenate 2 in 1 Cleanser - easy-peasy to use. I just throw this one on in the shower. A tiny bit on your hands and then lather it up before giving your face a good wash with it. It has tiny little moisture beads and you are meant to keep lathering your face until the beads dissolve. Who knows if it works, but my skin feels smoother after only using it for a week.
• Anew Alpha Peel Off Mask - who doesn't like a peel off mask?! That moment when it finally dries and you get to peel it away like some horror movie extra... but this product seems like more than just fun. I've only used it once, but I did see a noticeable change in my skin. Almost like someone had peeled off all the dead skin - funny that.
• Anew Clearly C 10% Vitamin C Serum - Vitamin C Serums are flooding the market at the moment, and I was skeptical about trying it (I usually am skeptical when it comes to 'the latest in essential skin care') but I tried this last night, after the Anew Alpha Peel Off Mask, and my skin felt amazing. The biggest differences I felt were that my skin felt tightened, not unpleasantly so, but nice and firm, similar to the times that I've gone to get a facial. The other big difference I noticed - my pores! Tiny! Finally! This looks like a little bottle of sunshine and orange juice - but it is definately worth a try, particularly if you stare at the mirror wondering if you could actually park a mini in your pores, like I do.

More up dates to come as I experiment with probably every product Avon sells.

If you are interested in ordering any of these products, or anything else - email me atavon.from.jo@gmail.com

It's 5am and we are waiting for two lines.

I was woken up at 5am this morning. This might be a normal occurrence for some people, or at least a slight inconvenience - but I didn't get to sleep until about 3.30am.

I swear this insomnia is going to kill me... or be the death of someone who annoys me at just the wrong time.

It has now gotten to the stage where taking 4mg Xanax gives me about 4 hours sleep (as long as I don't get woken up - but we'll come back to that later), which, for the uninitiated, is a whopping great dose that should put a pachyderm in his pyjamas.

The reason that it gave me a mere hour and a half of dream-time? Today was baby test day.

T and I decided that she would wake me up when she got up (usually 7am) and she would go and POAS (pee on a stick) and then bring it back into the bedroom (they have these nifty little covers to stop you spattering pee everywhere when you hold it up like a trophy and jump up and down - as yet unwitnessed by us) and we would wait out the three minutes together.

Three minutes is a long time when you are this tired. It is an even longer time when the stick shows only one line after the wait.

Positive would have been two lines.

I'm Tired of White Gay Men Complaining About How Difficult Life is for Them - Please Direct Them to the Definition of the Word 'PRIVLIDGE'?

I have a Moriarty. A nemesis... and I expect that would have been a lot more scary for Sherlock Holmes, seeing as his nemesis tried on occasion to kill him, and didn't just send him annoying and snarky emails.

Let us call him Mr M. For... well, for many reasons.

It started with the email sent to all of the SRC members (because this person apparently doesn't now how to tell the difference between 'reply' and 'reply all' about the one Queer Collective meeting they attended because no one talked about the things that they thought that should have been brought up, not that they submitted anything for the Agenda, nor did they actually raise any points during the meeting.

Then followed the email discussion about that.

Then they emailed me consistantly over a period of time asking me to do things for a project that THEY are meant to be running, having declared themselves the 'co-ordinator, Secretary and Treasurer' of the Project's 'Collective'.

Followed by a long conversation about the meaning of 'Collectivism' as opposed to 'Dictatorship' and the poor idea that it is not having an independent Treasurer appointed to create a means of accountability (seeing as this is where the word 'accountant' comes from) if money goes missing.

Then another long email conversation about that.

Then the emails that called me reactionary instead of rational, and implied that I was this way because I was female, and that accused myself and C of making them feel 'unsafe' in the Queer Space and 'worthless'. Well, Mr M. you can try to push all of the buttons that you want by using those words, but it isn't going to work because I am 'rational' and not 'reactionary'. For if indeed I were 'reactionary', you would realise this from the fact that you would have under 4 minutes to live due the the fact that I had sliced open one of your arteries without you noticing. For that is how my 'reactionary' side plays... which is why I am a very 'rational' person.

There was then a diatribe of insulting emails sent to my personal email address, to which I responded by explaining that he is only to email me on a professional basis via the CSU.SRC or CSU.MSG addresses, dependent on what the business was referring to.

Mr M's response? To send a diatribe of insults to the CSU.MSG email account.

No, no, no Sir. I did not ask you to use that account to insult me because it was more convenient for me to receive them there. I said that there would be no more insults and only professional emails sent to the Guild and Council accounts. So my response was to tell Mr M. that there would be no more insults, and anything like an insult would be taken as harassment and dealt with as such.

So, no more harrassing emails addressed to me.

BUT, (because these situations always have a big arse in them) we are now up to the 'I will email the Queer Collective (that I swore I would have nothing to do with) and tell them that they are disgusting and messy because I don't KNOW that it is 'her' [me, your whinning authoress] who reads them. And I will comb through the student forums and answer each of the posts she made last year with some snide comment and thinly veiled threat about the days of your positions on the Council and Guild being numbered.

Oh boy, do I have some news for you, Mr M.

As I said - the idea of a nemesis seemed so much more exciting when I was growing up reading Sherlock Holmes books.

LIES, IT"S ALL LIES!

Ok. So that sounds a little more dramatic than it was meant to. What I mean is that my last post was a promise to post more regularly... and I haven't. So, I lied. Apparently in the last sentence of my last post I also told everyone to go and buy some bitches. What I meant was 'go and buy some, bitches.' I'm taking the confusion caused by the misplaced comma as the reason no one bought any of the jewelry that I have made for Querelle'10. So now that the confusion is cleared up I know that I will be selling a lot of jewelry.

Things that have happened since my last post.
- I am still studying Psych, although I failed my Sociology subject. Oh well, there is always next semester.
- I am doing a statistics subject over summer. Oh joy.
- I went to the USA with Tracey.
- I spent time with my friend A while over there.
- I finally saw Kandinsky's works at the Guggenheim. What an amazing day!
-I am possibly am in the process of becoming a Daddy.

And I promise that over the next couple of weeks I will get back here and blog about these and other things.

Maybe.