By 10 o'clock I'm Back In Bed Fighting The Jury In My Head

It has been a disappointingly long time since I have had anything to write about - and I still don't. I just thought that instead of being alone in my disappointment I would share it with whoever (if there actualy is anyone) reads this.

I have moved house. I was living in a neat little yellow cottage that filled me with inspiration for art and music, and now I am left to rattle around in a large pink house that saps my motivation and makes me feel like things are falling apart. Perhaps it makes me feel this way because the house actually is falling apart. There are holes in walls and the wall paper is peeling off. For the life of me I can't remember why we were inspired to move into this particular house. It has fabulous potential if one wants to work on it, however I am only a tenant and therefore can't start stripping wallpaper and painting doors. I will eventually put some pictures of the house up here for people to look at.

I dropped out of my two classes for this semester (that is, this semester that is now over) and am planning on changing my major to Psychology and my degree to a Bachelor of Social Sciences. I am just waiting on paperwork to be processed. I was speaking with the husband of my science lecturer the other day (whom I know through work) and he passed on that my lecturer missed having me in her class and was sorry to see me drop the course. I miss being in her class - she is a fantastic teacher.

Emotionally things have been difficult for me. The line from 'Blake Says' by Amanda Palmer seems apt lately - "And Blake's been having trouble with his head again. He takes his pills, but never takes his medicine." I've been taking my meds as well as I can remember, but I feel miserable all of the time. I had a really bad time a couple of weeks ago and was wanting to just stop everything, but I feel that I'm pulling back from that and slowly slowly getting back to normal. What is normal, anyways?

I've been getting involved with the Queer Collective at Uni, which I am enjoying doing. I'm meeting some really lovely, thoughtful and intelligent people... and am thinking of becoming involved in the SRC as well. It has been too long a time to sit silently by and watch things happen without saying anything. Fight the Power and Damn the Man. I think that people are going to be surprised when they find out who the Man actually is.

Not so much breaking the law as just bending it slightly

Oh no! I am a criminal.

I am sitting in the library at Uni waiting to meet a 'client'. She should be here between 2.30pm and 3.30pm.

It really isn't anything as interesting as you might be wishing that it is. The University library supplies us with a copy of EndNoteX1, which is a clever little program that compiles all of your references and creates a bibliography or reference list for you at the end of your essay. The issue is that it is far surpassed by EndNoteX2 (which incidentally also works well on Macs, where X1 doesn't...), however the University won't pay for access to X2 for it's students. Cheap Bastards.

So, I happened to come across a copy of X2 (one for the PC and one for the Mac) and have them on a USB drive that I am sharing around with people.

Fight the Power!
Damn the Man!
Share the Software!

Ok, maybe I've seen Empire Records one too many times.

She Would Drive Satan's Own Mother To Tears

I had an interesting moment of self-awareness at work last night.  I am currently working at a hospital in the regional area of NSW I live in… no, it isn’t the hospital that has been in the news a lot.  Well, not anymore it isn’t.

I am listed on the casual staffing pool and have only had a half dozen shifts so far, most of which I have been working with different staff members, and all in all they have been quite a lovely group of people to deal with.  Except for the occasional racist remark that makes my hand itch to slap someone, but you tend to get comments like that in the more regional and rural areas of most countries.

Last night I was working with a person who just shit me to tears every time she opened her mouth, which is to say constantly.  I arrived home and T asked me how my night at work had been, she also reminded me to take my medication as I had forgotten to do so for the two days before that.

Then it dawned on me… did this woman constantly annoy me because I had forgotten my meds for two days?  Was my reaction to her the fault of my own lacking discipline?  Perhaps she was a pleasant and cheerful woman who had been trying to help me feel that I fit in to a new workplace.

Nah, she is a Nazi cunt from Hell.