The Official 'I Will Update More Often' Post

I know that I've not written in a long time, and let us be honest, the last couple of entries were a bit of a cop out - with more input from the genius of Ms Amanda Fucking Palmer than from me.

Well, this is the official 'I promise I will update more often' post. With pictures.

The things that have happened since I last posted...

-I dropped out of Nursing.

-I picked up psychology.

-I moved into a large pink house that makes me think of walking into a giant vagina every time I come home.

-I went to Canberra for Queer Collaborations'09.

-I bought furniture and tickets to fly to the States (16th October)

-I now have a 1 year old nephew who is walking.

There are other things that have happened, or that I have done. I can't really think of them now.

The thing that I want to elaborate on is my time at Queer Collaborations'09. I arrived feeling quite old and cynical, after all I am 35 years old (everyone else there seemed to still be in their early 20's) and I've been involved in the queer community for "Years and years."

And then I realised that I shouldn't be so cynical because I learnt more in the first day of QC'09 than I had in the "Years and years" that I thought I'd spent involved in the queer community. I realised that I hadn't really spent time in the queer community, but just with a bunch of friends who happened to be gay and knew about as much as I did - which was squat.

Since getting back to Bathurst from Canberra I've been doing a lot of work through the Queer Collective at CSU and some of it with the SRC (who can be helpful at times, when certain people let their egos down and actually listen to what is being said.) One of the great things that we have organised is Queer Week which starts on Monday and looks like it is going to be fabulous.

I know I promised pictures, ut instead I'll give you all a couple of links.

Firstly, Ms Amanda Fucking Palmer...

Secondly a link to the jewelry I have been making to raise money for the production of Querelle'10. Buy some bitches!

Who Let The Queers Into Canberra? - Queer Collaborations '09

What do you get when you have 350 queers in a room?
The flu, lots of arguments and a massive headache.

Luckily, that isn’t all that I brought back from QC’09 this year.

Queer Collaborations is an annual event that is run with the help of NUS and other organisations to provide a forum for GLBTI students from around Australia (and the world – there were Canadians there!) to discuss political issues, learn about sexuality and gender, meet a lot of other people and get drunk with them.

We listened to (and at times joined in on) hotly contested debates on Racism and Sexism, asking if it was racist to be attracted to someone because of their skin tone and if men can be victims of sexism or is there a difference between sexism and gender discrimination.

We watched presentations on what it meant to be hetero-normative which led to long and varied discussion about whether it was acceptable to be hetero-normative or whether the presentation itself had been discriminatory towards hetero-normative people.

We went to workshops on polyamory, gender, living with HIV, risk aware sex, Centerlink and the changes to the law, how to be a trans* ally and many other interesting and vitally important topics.

We held two protests – one at Canberra University to protest their closing of the Queer group and freezing of all student group funds by the Uni, and the other in front of Parliament House to demand equal rights for LGBTI couples.

We ran caucus groups (which are interest groups that you can attend if you identify as a part of that group of people) for women, trans*, cultural and language different people, people with ‘dis’abilities.

We held a very moving candlelight vigil in the rain with Amnesty International to remember those who had been victims of hate, oppression and violence due to peoples' lack of understanding about their sexual and gender identities.

We discovered the concept of ‘Safer Spaces’ – not only made safe for us by keeping queerphobia out, but also the need to discipline our own behaviours as adults so that our fellow queers feel safe around us.

We fought and argued. We made up and then argued again. But we did all of this as a community of people with a common identity and without the fear of being boxed in and labeled as being different. We were different to each other, but we gave ourselves the space to celebrate that fact instead of apologising for it.

In conclusion, QC’09 was an amazing week that opened my eyes to a LOT of issues facing queer folk of all sorts of flavours that I had never even thought of before.

I am 35 years old and thought that I had effectively sorted through my sexuality years and years ago. I have also had friends who have sorted through gender issues and felt that I knew enough about things to not be phased or shocked by anything - but this last week has taught me that I don't know anything.

I wasn't shocked or disturbed by what I saw or the people that I met; I was motivated and moved by them. I met people who identify as female, male, neither and both. I met people who are attracted to female, male, neither and both. But most importantly I met people who were intelligent, funny caring and who deserve the same rights as any other people in our country.

Just for the simple fact that whether they are a 'he', 'she', 'they' or an 'it', these people are people.

And these people deserve rights.

I can say this with certainty because I am one of these people - and I want my rights.

More Love from the SOH

End Music (to a Film) by Radiohead has always been an emotional and inspiring song for me.  It is the reason I have my 'Breathe' tattoo on the inside of my left wrist.  Seeing Amanda finally play it live, and to be able t sit only meters away from her while she excuded such raw energy and passion was astounding.  I wish that A had been there to witness the event so he can understand my obsession with her music.

This taping is the reason that we were so late being allowed into the venue.

Amanda Palmer:  Exit Music (for a Film) by Radiohead from shoottheplayer.com on Vimeo.

And then there is Creep - another Radiohead song that has become a staple.  Nobody does it like AFP - dressed in rufflies with a ukele.

She Would Drive Satan's Own Mother To Tears

I had an interesting moment of self-awareness at work last night.  I am currently working at a hospital in the regional area of NSW I live in… no, it isn’t the hospital that has been in the news a lot.  Well, not anymore it isn’t.

I am listed on the casual staffing pool and have only had a half dozen shifts so far, most of which I have been working with different staff members, and all in all they have been quite a lovely group of people to deal with.  Except for the occasional racist remark that makes my hand itch to slap someone, but you tend to get comments like that in the more regional and rural areas of most countries.

Last night I was working with a person who just shit me to tears every time she opened her mouth, which is to say constantly.  I arrived home and T asked me how my night at work had been, she also reminded me to take my medication as I had forgotten to do so for the two days before that.

Then it dawned on me… did this woman constantly annoy me because I had forgotten my meds for two days?  Was my reaction to her the fault of my own lacking discipline?  Perhaps she was a pleasant and cheerful woman who had been trying to help me feel that I fit in to a new workplace.

Nah, she is a Nazi cunt from Hell.

Let Me Try This Again…

I enjoy writing blogs.  I’ve kept a number of them over the years, and I’m sure that if you googled any of the online aliases I’ve held over time that you will find the list I’ve left scattered behind me, like some sort of depraved one-sided litany.  The bastard children of illness and insight, of affliction and awareness.  My attempts at breathing a semblance of meaning into my pain and trying to help it gain a strength for a few sessions of psychological self-flagellation later on.

 

So, I decided to start another blog and she was supposed to be a commentary on things that were happening in society around me… but she told me to fuck off.  So then I tried to make her into a blog about our attempts to find a sperm donor and conceive a child this year, but then she said “You know?..  No.”

 

But now I’m trying to build her into something new.  I’m trying to feed this one on truth and not self-pity and drama.

 

Perhaps I’ll conceive something this year after all.

 

"So this little song is probably...she's one of my best friends of all the songs. And um, she just didn't want to be on any of the records. She was supposed to be on Pele, and then she told me to fuck off. And then she was supposed to be on Choirgirl, sorta kinda, but then she said, 'you know...no.' And then she decided she liked being played live, so I play her a lot."  ~Tori Amos Cooling